psst...gossip is religion

2009-05-01T04:08:00.000-07:00

AHHHH~
tissue feels so refreshed after 15 hrs of sleep.
and yes i shall blog about tis mrt train i was on last night when im coming home from POOP
poop is a play its not the business tat u do in the toilet.
why would i take mrt to a toilet to do business anyway =.-

so ya its this carlsjunior train.
and the way they describe their new burger is jus fantastic.

1. be careful where you shove this thing.

2. some like it long, but most love it thick.

3. you may be sitting on something thick.

4. its gonna get messy.

5. open as wide as you can and say "Ah..."

6. you will need a wider mouth or a wider door.

7. so thick, it will tear something in you.

i was on the priority seat den toking with my fren.
suddenly when i payed attention to the words plastered all over
wah its really thunderation
i bet they hired ryan cher to be their commercial consultant or sth
tissue is advancing exponentially in my understanding of double entendre.

TERMINATED

X MARKS THE SPOT (:

2009-02-09T05:26:00.000-08:00

i'm here to end the gossip drought!!

there's an unfortunate lack of pictures though, but fret not it's DAMN 够力!!!!!

time flies, and love flies with it.
since the birth of ohhmai we have witnessed countless scandals born and die, but little did we know that barely 2 weeks(need confirmation) after one particular guy has made his love known to girl A, he has quickly moved on to girl B.

we seem to love uniform clues dont we? well, they (new girl B and the one particular guy) are both wearing the same uniform(: but belong to the two ends of Hwa Chong...in fact, they belong to the two different ends of the range too.

obvious yet? maybe not.

but who cares, v-day is coming!!! so i shall end off with a poem, which reveals all yet reveals none =D HAHAHA I AM SO CHEEM TODAYYYY.

No more tears, I won't let tissues be my solace;
I'm moving on, to mark my new love with two crosses.

iloveteekaywhy<3

NYONYA FEVER HITS PARTYWORLD

2009-02-07T08:51:00.000-08:00

okay guess it's time to move on from ryan's apparent sicko nature, and move on to something more... conservative, like, kebaya-clad nyonyas.

yup, singapore was gripped by a crazy, inexplicable nyona fever a little while ago(probably cause we havent produced anything as up to standard yet) and very soon we had little nyonya dvds and meet-the-fans sessions and nyonya kueh promotions and kebaya sales (?!) and..i bet we'll have actions figures of yueniang and juxiang damn soon -.-"

even though the show's long over, the after-effects of the nyonya is still evident in many places in sg.

IN FACT!! THE NYONYA FEVER HAS HIT ONE OF THE GOSSIP CLUB'S TOP HANGOUTS, ALSO KNOWN AS PARTYWORLD AT YISHUN SAFRA.

here's the proof:ALL HAIL THE LITTLE NYONYA, HALLELUJAH

hahahaha Gossip Girl Ong picked the song!

some of you people were probably waiting for a video of Ong singing, but unfortunately, she caught me with the camera before i could take any footage worthy of mention so if you want to witness the golden voice of said Gossip Girl, come join us at our next PW session.

hahaha (= tag if interested! we'll organise an outing soon.

no juicy news recently. continue digging leh fellow gossips!

山本月娘 ftw! hahahahaha

<3ky

CHER ALERT!!

2009-02-03T06:53:00.000-08:00

DEVOTED READERS OF OHHMAI, HERE'S A DELAYED POST WHICH SHOULD HAVE BEEN PUBLISHED LONG AGO TO CAUTION YOU ALL OF THE NEW DANGER WHICH LURKS IN THE SHOOTING CLUB.

He's none other than the infamous Cher the Ryan/Cher Bear Bear(?? idk, ask EW)/不简单

Also known as the '08 Captain of the High School Shooting Club, Ryan appears to be deceivingly decent, leaving a generally good first impression on people. But as any GP teacher can tell you, we should never judge a book by its cover, and naturally, we should never judge Chers by their appearances too(不简单, 不简单!!!!!!!!!!)

Well, our CNY celebration on chu er revealed all his true colours; to help him maintain his squeaky clean image (i'm sure) within the club we shall just share two incidents which had me totally disgusted.

#1. HE MADE GAMBLING PORNO.
how pro is that? Maybe the Gambling King would like to make a short comment on this! =| Well we were having a major mahjong session over at YeoEW's place, and Cher happened to be one of the players at the time. At first, it was just simple chatter and a bit of gossip here and there, until the topic of Black Jack (otherwise known as 21 points/Ban Luck) cropped up.

It's just a card game what!! Yet the Cher at this moment made an astounding comment:
OMG BJ HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

I'll leave the reactions of the people present to your imagination, but being as pure as i am, my complete ignorance of the ahem-sexual-ahem connotation left me very HUH?! at everyone else's reactions.

Cher continued making the situation worse, by complaining incessantly to his partner at the mahjong table, Mr Yeo, that because he had fallen down earlier that day, his ass was feeling too tight (wth?!?!). Maybe not so surprisingly, Mr Yeo apparently tuned in to Cher's sicko frequency and happily carried on with the conversation (omg). Which leaves me to the next point!

#2. NO RIDING, FINE $1000.
I'm sure most of you have seen this sign somewhere, in underpasses and void decks and stuff, which clearly means what it says: NO RIDING (OF BICYCLES, duh, got picture leh!!what else -.-)

Perhaps graphic details weren't enough for Cher.

With me and the female XQ walking in front, Cher and Yeo were super engaged in random conversations on topics which cannot classify as PG (ref. #1) Well it so happened that we walked past the abovementioned sign, telling people not to ride bicycles in the underpass. Hmmm, what can be so wrong about that?

Upon seeing the sign, Cher exclaimed damn loudly (he scared nobody hears him) :
WAH, NO RIDING!
and almost immediately begin to protest against the sign by- riding, of course, literally. Mr Yeo joined in, and very soon we had 2 sickos riding and hopping excitedly behind us?? ohmaigod that was easily the most traumatising experience, ever.

(come to think of it, maybe Yeo should be featured in this too, he seems very accustomed to Cher's frequency)

See people? Cher is indeed, as he put it himself, 不简单 eh.

that's all from me! beware okay, the cher is near=)

LOVE FROM KAIYUNNNNN

a picture speaks a thousand words.

2009-01-29T05:47:00.000-08:00

haha tissue, the era for codenames is overrrrr. and today, we'll bring to our devoted tabloid readers 2 people who are actually in HCIARC itself (at least these 2 are people whom everyone would know), caught on camera!!!

check out this long-standing scandal within our club, which has been secretly spreading ever since the entry of these 2 people into it! yay!! here comes the infamous XQXQ (as opposed to XOXO) caught in action!

well they tried to hide.
but obviously was no match for our paparazzi ((: what were you guys doing beside the pool of fishes?? seriously very fishy la okay!

juicy sidenote #1: -removed- a certain mr cherry deemed this sidenote to be too juicy to be published, and called up the gossip club 3 times just to have it removed -.- i'm feeling charitable today, so he got his wish and you guys don't get your gossip =/

juicy sidenote #2: The girl in the picture is a devoted reader of a majority of the blogs in the club, and she obviously reads this as well, hahahaha sorry =P too fun to resist!

juicy sidenote#3: Mr World Trade Center is apparently so impressed with this tabloid, he demands the next post to be about him! well sorry got to wait for a while, your gossip club has been working hard and we still have a loooong list of juicy stuff to share with you guys our beloved readers<3

=D

love is in the air.
ohmaigod!

<3 ky

2009-01-28T06:09:00.000-08:00

everyone must have missed me a lot
i have been sneezing like garbage recently
which implies that my fans out there are praying for me to come back
tissue feels so obliged to 发扬光大 the tabloid 文化
anyway the following piece of tabloid is posted onli after the consent of the 当事人
as usual the names will be censored FOR FUN HAHAHA
yes okay i shall first start with a nice little quote:

"LUCKY -name- IS A VERY MILD AND SUBTLE GUY
which is why i love him
SO MUCH
I MUST BE A SWEEET GF"

zomg my headlines onli already so juicy
and so WHO IS THE GIRL WE ARE TOKING ABOUT
ahhhh so of cos she is related to me in one way or another in the xx clan
is tat a very broad clue?!
wad about.. shes in the same generation as
-GG the gossip girl commonly known as xinmei cut short xm.-
shes an outstanding leader like obama and holds many leadership positions
the pride of the xx clan.
but no wonders anyway, since she got 2 powderful mums
-i wanted to say 1 powerful mum but i scared the other mum not happy-

and as for the guy.
i think tis one i give clue also no use cos i dont think ppl really know him
anyway he came from sangnila utama's fren's school
currently in a cca which trains ppl to save fuel
by going to another country without taking vehicles as a transport
-i think onli ppl with freaking high IQ like mine *cough* will get it-
-but its okay u noe. u can always come and ask me about it-
-however rights are reserved whether or not i wan to answer tat person-
so far i think mr world trade centre noes about it
ask him fast before he gets bombed by osama
=D

Tissue-The-Great

ryo's horrible display pic

2009-01-28T04:53:00.000-08:00

ok i tell u i am disturbed by ryo's horrible asshole dp its like UGLY?!
HE STILL SAID THAT ITS PLEASUREFUL

2009-01-24T21:53:00.000-08:00

hey hey hey~!

oh come on, the blog has been dead cus ur source of GossipS here (me DUH) is currently gAThering everything in a bag before releasing these puppies out AltogeTher!

who let the doGS out?!

anyways, be honoured as im goanna tell u everything b4 i leave (aww...), so u pple can haf fun GosSiping AbouT them during the longgggg hols! =D how nice can i get?

lets get to the point.

somewhat, everything seems to have happened on cny celebATions the day itself, in cs in fAcT, so if you had wandered off to hs or got stuck there for some kind of reason, you have missed out a good time since all the subjs were in cs~

so... lets assume thAT we all know a certain boy a likes a certain girl here, and thAT certain girl involves one of our 'exco' member, one of the hiGheSt rank in fAcT...

but! thAT is way-too-old news. here is the real thing...

spotted: this certain boy a kissing AnoTher certain boy b.

whoa! now, thAT's news! here's more: upon confrontATion, boy a says thAT they have kissed not once, but twice! even b4 this time but it was AT a certain chalet~ (pple, stArT recalling!)

and thATs not all! so as we are all wondering if this boy a has ATtain the hiGheSt level ever achieved in relATionships and became a 'bi', he claimed that his innocent love for a certain girl is there no more!

ohmaiGoSh, does thAT mean he's officially gay?!

we're just getting to the exciting pArT pple!: the identities... (grab ur notebooks, stArT scribbling and do ur mATh!)

if u've been ATtentive enough, you would have noticed those little hints i left in this whole post.

and if you've been smArT enough, you would have already GuesSed who those two mysterious boys are! (i may not have left all, and enough for u to GuesS correctly!)

now thAT should be obvious =) and this certain boy b, well we do know of his existence but not exAcTly know him very well personally i believe but we will, since he has just moved on to the same section of the school as the few of us!

i'll leave it AT that, cus im afraid it'll be too much for u pple but i'll be back for more~!

you know you love me...

xoxo,
GossipGirl

facial post!

2009-01-23T22:54:00.000-08:00

THIS BLOG'S BEEN DEAD FOR A FEW DAYS!!

so im here to revive it, with a post on FACIALS=))

i've noticed that the gossip club members are having skin troubles nowadays. especially since CNY's coming around, i'm sure this post would make everybody look good, and be happy. PLUS! Doing facials help to improve your mood okay, i swear it does.

SO THE QUESTION IS, HOW DO YOU ACHIEVE SMOOTH, FAIR SKIN IN 15 MINUTES?

The secret is...

THE HONEY-EGGWHITE MASK

Benefits: Improves acne, moisturising, tightens your pores (apparently haha)

Ingredients: egg-white (from 1 egg)
2 teaspoons of honey

Procedure:

Beat the egg-white with a fork, until it turns slightly frothy.
Then add in the honey and beat it until everything's mixed.
Apply to your face/neck/wherever
Leave for 10-15 minutes.
Rinse off completely!

A lot of you must be wondering if this mask works! Well, I've tried this mask on myself (duh), and a regular informant of Gossip Club, Mary*, who had bad acne last time and rough skin, had kindly agreed to try it out too.

...

10 minutes later, Mary emerged with smoother and fairer skin, and the acne scars were a bit less obvious than before! So miraculous right!

So readers, if you aren't convinced, go try out this mask today! You'll feel the difference yourself=D

tag if you tried/don't dare to try/going to try! hahaha you can also tag to guess who Mary is (:
Clue: Mary was mentioned before on this blog haha

Next time, I shall reveal the secret of...removing acne scars! wahahaha.

*name changed to protect privacy, hahahaha.

haf dom turned gay?

2009-01-21T07:52:00.001-08:00

FIRST TIME DOMONIC CHEONG EVERY SAID THIS KIND OF *** STUFF!!!!!! *MUAAAAAAAAAAAAKKKKKSSSS* LOL?
COMMENT ON TAGBOARD!!! :D

-DALE

2009-01-19T02:41:00.000-08:00

harlow pple~!

okay. as the mascot i think i shud post sth HAHA (btw i was the one who created this blog)

well, this one is not exactly a scandal, or rather i'll say its a highly suspicious one. and... it sort of clashes with the ones zijin was talking about (oops! am i making it a little too obvious?)

they have been rumoured together before (i think?) but were quickly forgotten due to other rumours which actually came true. stay with me, i'm getting to the details!

instead of saying whoever is older than whoever, i shall reveal it in another way, and it shall be the only clue =) ooh, how much i loveeeee suspense~!!!

Currently, both of them wears uniform of the same colour but studies in different school or rather, different SECTION of the school.

HAHAHA! is that confusing? well, its suppose to be! =) now that so many of the jnrs have changed to AHEM, certain type of uniform, it would be both confusing and obvious! =D

rumour is that they are suspected to have gone out together (just the two of them!) more than what YOU think...

WHOOPS! im revealing more than i should! oh oh and all these are just for the entertainment of all of u pple who love gossips so much! absolutely no harm or offense intended!

oh and i shall end with sightings! two certain pple have been seen in CS for the very first time but left immediately for HS after that (afraid to be caught red-handed by fellow classmates?)

Again, all is for the pure enjoyment of u pple and with not a teeny bit of evil intentions. but nonetheless, will be coming back with more juicy gossips!

you know you love me =D

xoxo, Gossipgirl

ps. it sucks when ur identity is already known =(

2009-01-16T05:14:00.000-08:00

Heylo people~~

Hehe.

I have 劲爆 news to share today!! Not one, not two. But THREE!!

Muahahahaha~~ *Evil laughter*

But before I move on, one of the person involve told me not to make the couple/ 暗恋对象 so obvious. So, I shall respect HIS decision. *Boohoo to you*

Hmm... So I have thought of a super-not-obvious way to reveal the couple/ 暗恋对象.

It will be in the form of a....

MATHS QUESTION!!!

HAHAHA!!

So first couple: Boy 1 is younger than Girl 1 by 2 years.

暗恋对象 1*Someone informed me that Girl 2 knows about Boy 2's feelings already*: Boy 2 is younger than Girl 2 by 1 year.

暗恋对象 2 *That same someone told me that Girl 3 knows about Boy 3's feelings*: Boy 3 (This one seriously look like a boy) is younger than Girl 3 by 3 years(?!).

Edited: Omg. This is so luan. That means it is not 暗恋 anymore. X.X

Additional info:

Girl 2 encouraged Boy 1 to woo Girl 1.

One of the girls is our beloved President!!

Muahahahahahahahaha *Witch Laughter*

Note to Boy 2: Like that not obvious liao right? =P

Okay!! So now, tag your answers on the tagboard (be it age or name) and you will stand a chance to get my AUTOGRAPH!!! *Next time when I become famous you can sell it for millions of dollars* =D

P.S. HCISC seriously needs to educate it's members to not fall in love with girls older than them!!

Signing off~~

sherman the SHE No.1 Fan

XOXO

打小人

2009-01-15T06:09:00.000-08:00

okay obviously tissue the president has been totally suey
for the past. 3 weeks at least.
and so i concluded that i must have 犯小人-ed
THUS. FOR THE BENEFIT OF ALL MANKIND.
tissue shall post about how everyone can get rid of bad luck and 小人-s

so firstly! when is the best time to 打小人?!
ahhhhhh so according to reliable sources, best is like 1st and 15th day of the month!
which means HEY I SHOULD HAVE 打小人-ED ON MUMMEH'S BD
-and no i dun mean 打 mummeh.-
and basically 打小人 can be like classified into 2 main cats:
1. just plain suey and so u 打小人 for the sake of 打-ing
2. a certain person has been annoying you so u 打 that certain person de 小人
and so what do you say when u are doing it?
when hitting the paper doll with a wooden clog:
打你个小人头，等你脸肿像猪头 (when u hit the face)
打你只小人手，BLAHBLAH (when u hit the arm)
打你只小人脚，BLAHBLAH (when you hit the leg)
and so on.
depending on how much hatred u accumulated for the person..
the vicious level of the BLAHBLAH can be adjusted
new year is coming.
EVERYONE BELIEVE IT OR NOT JUS GO AND 打小人 ba!
u noe after hitting u will feel happier also whether or not it worked

oh and just something to note
'mrs president' is not tissue-the-great
cos tissue is the president.
so mrs president = first lady = tissue's laopo = you-know-who
AHHHHHH SO ITS LORD VOLDEMORT

Tissue-The-Great

Gossip Club Goes Official!

2009-01-14T07:30:00.000-08:00

your resident gossips are going to go official!

We will be having our official launching with a mahjong partyyyy =D which will take place on 23rd Jan, also known as Chinese New Year Eve's Eve's Eve, or 除夕夕夕 (pronounce: CHU XI XI XI). It will probably be held at Dale's house, in the ulu eastern countryside of Singapore known as Tampines.

Well the main question isn't when, where, who or why; but...
ARE WE PLAYING REAL MONEY?

uhh yes, certainly. seeing as it's Chinese New Year Eve's Eve's Eve, we all deserve a good gambling break right? =) we'll be playing really tiny amounts, like 10 cents so no worries about going bankrupt (especially not when it's CNY!).

it will be quite a marathon, definitely overnight. Gossip Vice-Pres Lim SHERMAN has kindly suggested for the mahjong party to last for FRICKING TWENTY-FOUR HOURS. Though we think the idea is retarded, if anyone is game enough, WE DALE WILL WELCOME YOU.

However, to anyone who vaguely knows mahjong, the game is for four people only. Therefore...limited places available! Sign up at our tagboard today.

XOXO,
KY from the Gossip Club (:

EXCO COMMITEE OF GOSSIP CLUB!

2009-01-13T07:10:00.000-08:00

HI fellow ppl

i am here to inform about the exco election that will be held out by that stupid gossip queen/king(dunno if male or female due to her identities)<---i/c say female and haf 6 laopo LOL positions including:
1)a bisexual for the queen
2)gambling king(class 1 gambler)
3)gambling queen(class 2 gambler)
4)toilet cleaner(gossip spreader/organizer)<--------help to edit posts to ensure no vulgarities or flaming(CLASS 1)
5)window wiper(gossip spreader/organizer)<--------help to edit posts to ensure no vulgarities or flaming(CLASS 2)
6)the king/queen servant
7)welfare planner------------->gossip outing

*on behalf of stupid queen/king*
OK proposing a new way to elect the comitee
!!!
let THE GOSSIP QUEEN DO THE WORK =,=

2009-01-11T05:26:00.000-08:00

can u believe it.
within 24 hours of the first piece of info on the hc guy and ny girl
gossip club president received yet another piece of juicy news regarding them
AND YES SO I SHALL ADD ON
before that i would like to thank THE SAME OLD CERTAIN SOMEONE
for providing me with such good info.

so about the guy who have got equally unique taste as the girl
and the girl who have got equally unique taste as the guy
MIGHT NOT END UP BLOSSOMING AND BEARING FRUITS
now u see.. things are getting more complicated
when theres a sudden appearance of A 2ND GUY.
A.K.A THE THIRD PARTAYE
TADAH THIS IS GETTING EXCITING
and so now the gf-stealer is getting emo ONCE AGAIN LIKE ALWAYS
cos of the girl of his dreams.
(u noe he basically emos over every girl)
and yes this time round he think he is not good enough for the girl
AWWWWW TYPICAL TRAGEDY STORYLINE
and so heres the full story:

hc guy likes ny girl, yet he think hes not good enough for her
and ny girl likes some random guy whos going to go botak soon
(no not botak cos of cancer or chemo)
and tat certain random guy according to reliable sources is quite a WOMANISER.
so i see tat guy should be in the same league as mr 587.

anyway from tat u can see tat hc guy is feeling kind of depressed
yet his love for the girl is deep and unwaivering
like how can the ny girl fall for some womaniser instead of him!?
-but gossip club president's advice to him is tat he must learn to accept reality-
-u noe. based on ur non-existent assets wad more do u ask for-
but again i would like to comment that the ny girl also dunno wads good for her
like she and the hc boy TOTALLY SO 配 in the sense tat they r of the same standard
and tat their iq is as low as each other's such tat communication would be facilitated between them
so its a waste not to like be together
let me express the guy's love in lyrics
-where ever you go~ wadever you do~ i will be rite here waiting for u...-

oh and just adding on.
im getting very interested to noe wads going on inside the guy's head
obviously maybe he think hes worthy of mrs president but not worthy of ny girl
=> mrs president is not as good as ny girl.
mrs president u can explode now (:

so now according to my experience in watching korean/jap/taiwan dramas
the hc boy's emoness may well land him up in some 惊天地泣鬼神 de suicide attempt
and like on the verge of dying the ny girl would realise how impt he is to her
and that SHE CANT LIVE WITHOUT HIM -AWWWWWWWW IM TEARING-
so sth M18~R21 -so disturbing- might follow and they finally 有情人终成眷属

before i end the post
i would like to sen out stern warnings to all the boys and girls reading tis
guys if u have a crush/gf, pls dun let hc boy noe
jus in case he decided to change target again
and girls..i think u all should noe what to do (:

p.s M18~R21 is not disturbing due to any sexual references
p.s.s M18~R21 is disturbing due to the male/female lead featured in the process

Tissue-The-Great

2009-01-10T07:36:00.000-08:00

OH WOW this is lovely. my first post on ohhmai.
of cos here i must first say tat im FREAKING HONOURED
as the president of the gossip club,
i hope year 2009 can be a year full of juicy tabloids so tat we can thrive
and tat tis will be a legacy left behind for all the juniors

so sorry im used to blog in tis format
ANYWAY HERES ONE BIG JUICY GOSSIP AGAIN HAHAHA
i shall not mention names in case u noe kena blackmails and etc
its not easy to run gossip club these days
so basically I THINK I NOE ONE MORE PAIR OF COUPLES-TO-BE
from ny side and from hc side.
and yes so far i can onli tell everyone tat the ny one is a girl and the hc one is a boy
but yes both r not very well liked by me personally
-now tats a very obvious hint-
heard that they have been meeting quite a few times recently WHOAAAA
and from a reliable source of the Gossip Head of Gambling
(name starts with -sher- and ends with -man-)
the couple were smsing each other on the bus
like ZOMG SO SWEET WORHXZXZX
but i wonder if its one-sided or like u noe 两情相悦
according to my accurate radar and acute sixth sense.
i think its currently one-sided but steadily moving on to the nxt stage (:
since according to a certain source the ny girl IS QUITE ATTRACTIVE
-pls note tat im kind of disgusted by tat description-
and its like u noe. if tis really comes true.
it would be such a great relieve to mrs president.
like totally one big bugger off her mind
but since according to tat SAME CERTAIN SOURCE the hc guy is a gf-stealer.
hmmmm... i wonder wad assets he have in the first place to steal gfs
oh but obviously so far according to my observation.
he havent succeeded in stealing any. awwwwwww -totally expected-
and yes
SO WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO THE BOTH OF THEM!?
WILL THEY END UP TOGETHER
JUS LIKE HOW BILLIONS OF PAIRS OF HC-NY COUPLES?!
OR WOULD ONE PARTY BE HURT IN THE RELATIONSHIP?!
WOULD THE RELATIONSHIP BLOSSOM AND BEAR FRUITS!?
SO TAT NO MORE INNOCENT GUY/GIRL WILL BE SCREWED UP BY THEM!?
OR WOULD IT END UP AS A DISASTER?!
and yes i will follow up diligently on tis piece of news
so in the meanwhile pls tune in to ohhmai.blogspot.com for MORE GOSSIPS IN TOWN

Tissue-The-Great (:

ohmai!

2009-01-06T08:02:00.000-08:00

Gossip is religion! (:

We the gods...you the worshippers.